Panick Attack

22nd of August 2018

A small dot on the horizon, a tiny grain of dust barely visible from the eye,
it bothers no one,
expect me.

When I look at it, the dot turns into a star,
and the star begins to fall.
Once it starts falling it accelerates,
and the falling star becomes a comet.
The comet is plummeting the earth.
The grain of dust has become this immense
solar attack that is aimed directly at me, ready to

blow

me

up.

Salty goo dripping down my chin. Suffocation, I can’t breathe.
Loving arms and words and breaths nurse me back and tell me about the dot.
It’s just a dot, and you’ll get there when you get there.
And even if you don’t catch it, it won’t destroy you.
If you would just close your eyes, you might see.

But that’s the issue, behind my eyes lies the world in which a dog becomes a wolf and a wolf a bear and I can’t negotiate with a bear.
Instead I fight the bear, but he always outpowers me,
until I’m too exhausted, until he’s fed up with me, and he lets me sleep.